History of the Gun

History of the Gun

Before the firearm, man walked in fear of nature's creatures, who thought little of man and his ability to make bowls out of clay. But then, one man invented the gun - I believe his name was Bob - and, the next time Bob ran into a bear, he kicked its ass. From then on, all animals knew that man was the superior species and then relegated themselves to performing in circuses for our amusement. Soon after, a woman came upon a gun --we'll call her Moesha -- and accomplished what thousands of years of feminism couldn't: physical equality of the sexes. For a gun fired by Moesha was just as deadly as a gun fired by a man or a chimpanzee (don't give guns to chimps). Now everyone embraced this new technology and the equality it brought to all mankind, but then evil arose in its palace of destruction and challenged the gun owners. And there was much kung fu fighting. Through the use of magic confuse rays, the evil gained the upper hand convincing many to turn against guns, taking them away from their loving families and imprisoning them with safety locks. But, to this day, there are those who still fight for the gun, wishing to return the brave firearms to their proper place in society, once again bringing peace, love, and cheap ammo to the masses.