How to look good in 10 minutes

Unless you happen to be a goth with hair extensions as long as Jane Seymour's tresses or you're sporting a modern-day mullet that requires two hours of tweaking and gelling, technically there's no reason why guys should have to spend hours in the bathroom to look appealing.

Some cosmetic remedies may require a previous night's preparation but most of these tips relate to activities in the bathroom, before or after a shower.

Facial exercises 

It might not look the most attractive, pulling the kind of gurning expressions that win toothless old codgers prizes at country fetes - but just a few minutes of facial acrobatics every morning can do more wonders than plastic surgery.

Specific expressions involving pushing the head back and opening and closing the mouth while extending the tongue back and forth, helps tighten up the saggiest of double chins.

Also repeat widening of the mouth, smiling like Batman's arch enemy and returning to a tight kissing position - up to 20 times - will help give your jaw line greater definition. Impatient readers take note, you need to be doing this for at least four weeks.

Self-tan without orange

A range of reasonable inexpensive self-tanning moisturisers such as Dove's Summer Glow gives the illusion of radiance and health - particularly beneficial if you've got the lifestyle of a burger-munching dipsomaniac who avoids fruit and veg.

The only trick is to apply carefully with attention to areas of the neck and jaw-line that are prone to displaying tan lines, hence giving the cunning game away. Wait 10 minutes before dressing and Bingo, you have a natural sun-kissed complexion without the pain of sunbathing or risking damage to the skin.

Ice-cold water rush 

Do any of you recall the opening scenes of the movie Mommie Dearest where Faye Dunaway, playing Hollywood queen Joan Crawford, dips her face in a bowl of ice?

OK, maybe not, but for the record it's worth noting that an icy cold water-wash first thing will have more effect than a lorry-load of Botox.

The late Paul Newman also admitted to immersing his chiselled matinee-idol looks in a sink of iced water to start the day. It might not be the most comfortable of morning pick-me-ups but it'll wake up your nerve endings better than a mug of Arabica coffee.

Moisturise

It's simple, it's quick and it'll save you premature lines and cultivating a skin that could give a Nile river crocodile a run for its money. Today there's an abundance of different types of male creams, most with UVA protection and ones that treat different problems such as 'anti-tightness' to dry skin and eczema.

L'Oréal have one of the most extensive and modestly priced ranges for men - including a 'wrinkle decrease' product - because let's face it, you're worth it! Even if you've never so much as splashed Brut on your chops as part of a daily grooming routine, it's never too late to start re-conditioning your skin and make yourself look more radiant.

Wedding tackle trimming

As glamour models and porn stars are influencing women about how they should look between the legs, a whole new culture of pubic landscaping has developed. Equally guys shouldn't be too cavalier in that department too. Let's face it, would you like to nose dive into a genital version of the Borneo Jungle? A shaved or trimmed nether region can be both aesthetically pleasing as well as less rough and off putting to touch.

Electric or battery shavers may sound less scary when focusing on such a tender area but the most sensible and functional way to carry out 'todger and sack' depilation is to use a fresh razor, plenty of shaving foam or gel and shear your coconuts under a warm shower faucet. Please note, take good care not to shave your sensitive undercarriage as if it's Bill Sykes' five o'clock shadow jaw-line.

Trimming and tweaking

There can't be anything more off putting to the fairer sex than the sight of a guy's eyebrows that look as if he's auditioning for a werewolf movie. Remember Dennis 'Silly Billy' Healey's magnificent eyebrow bushes?

The most painless way to deal with stray eyebrow hairs that resemble Spaghetti Junction is to take a comb, brush it along the top of the eyebrows and then use a small electric clipper to mow away the offending stalks.

If you have to resort to tweezers then rub Vaseline or cold cream on the eyebrows to reduce painful pulling from the roots. Wipe with a paper towel to get rid of grease residue. Be careful not to overdo eyebrow plucking or you'll resemble David Guest. Duration 30 seconds to two minutes max.

Eye bags

Forget the expensive eye creams that now target the male grooming market. A cheaper and equally effective method to reducing dark circles and eye bags - particularly after a boozy night - is to place chilled tea bags on the eyes for five minutes.

The tannins in the tea help plump out lines and reduce puffiness. To make sure you have a ready supply of the little wonders simply make a pot of tea the night before and then drain and place the tea bags in a bowl in the fridge.

Express exercise

No one's asking you to don lycra and engage in a spot of pilates just before you rush out for work - but a couple of minutes of stretching will fire up the endorphins and give you greater energy. Which in turn helps brighten up a tired, sallow-looking face.

Touching the toes several (20) times and similarly doing the same amount of 'windmill swings' with the arms is all you require to maintain a degree of suppleness and alleviate rustiness rather than feeling like the Tin Man without a can of oil.

Combine these exercises with your morning facial contortions and you'll be knocking back the years in no time. A little vigorous exercise every morning rather than two hours once week is more effective and manageable.

Dying hair

There's nothing worse than an obvious paint job on the nut, which tends to age guys more than their actual years and has them looking like some hideous Dirk Bogarde look-a-like from Death in Venice.

Some guys prefer to let nature take its course and many women love the 'salt and pepper' look, which gives the illusion of wisdom!

But if you must take to the bottle then try the range where the process leaves a touch of grey. Rather than risk looking like Ronald Reagan with a tacky jet-black spray job, choose a lighter colour to mask unwanted greyness. Most of the quick hair dye applications such as the Just For Men range take little more than five minutes.

Haircut

One thing guys can be grateful for compared to the opposite sex is not feeling the social pressure to have a hairstyle that makes a statement and costs an arm and a leg.

You can't go wrong with a classic short cut, which takes little more than 20 minutes at the barber.

In the morning it really is a case of wash and go. But even if you sport a sexy no 1 or short crop made by clippers be careful that you don't leave your head looking like one big fluffy pipe cleaner. Short hair still needs conditioning and a dab of wax or hair gel will enhance the cut and look groomed.