Jul 22, 2010

English is a Funny Language




In what other language do people drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?

In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?

Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?

Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?

Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:

If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?

A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.

But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?

If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?

If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?

English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in;

In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.

In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.

English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?


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Moon Buildings : Amazing Future Buildings

Instead of hotel "Crescent", on the other side of the bay, should be located hotel "Full Moon" – in the form of standing on the edge disk (more precisely – the ellipsoid) with a hole in the upper part. Hotel "Full Moon" will look very different depending on which side, and under what angle to look at it. The hotel "Full Moon" will have 1590 meters and 35 floors where will be located 382 large "lux" numbers. The total usable area – 104 182 m².













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Quotes About Girls

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe

No one ever told me I was pretty when I was a little girl. All little girls should be told they're pretty, even if they aren't.
Marilyn Monroe

The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn't any.
Marilyn Monroe

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Maya Angelou

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein

There are two things that are more difficult than making an after-dinner speech: climbing a wall which is leaning toward you and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
Winston Churchill

A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.
Coco Chanel

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
Mae West

A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
Rodney Dangerfield

I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
Rodney Dangerfield

Somebody just back of you while you are fishing is as bad as someone looking over your shoulder while you write a letter to your girl.
Ernest Hemingway

Who would ever think that so much went on in the soul of a young girl?
Anne Frank
I don't think of myself as a poor deprived ghetto girl who made good. I think of myself as somebody who from an early age knew I was responsible for myself, and I had to make good.
Oprah Winfrey

Give a girl an education and introduce her properly into the world, and ten to one but she has the means of settling well, without further expense to anybody.
Jane Austen

To look almost pretty is an acquisition of higher delight to a girl who has been looking plain for the first fifteen years of her life than a beauty from her cradle can ever receive.
Jane Austen

Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then.
Jane Austen

Where youth and diffidence are united, it requires uncommon steadiness of reason to resist the attraction of being called the most charming girl in the world.
Jane Austen

If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely girl.
H. L. Mencken

There are certain shades of limelight that can wreck a girl's complexion.
Audrey Hepburn

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'
Woody Allen

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Joan Rivers

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
Stephen Leacock

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
Dolly Parton

All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
Charlie Chaplin

Guess what, I might be the first hippie pinup girl.
Janis Joplin

The first symptom of love in a young man is timidity; in a girl boldness.
Victor Hugo

I think the girl who is able to earn her own living and pay her own way should be as happy as anybody on earth. The sense of independence and security is very sweet.
Susan B. Anthony

I try to do something the audience might not have seen before. Like if I'm gonna kiss a girl I wanna kiss her like a girl has never been kissed. Like maybe I would kick her legs out from under her and catch her right before she hits the ground and then kiss her.
Jim Carrey

It's my old girl that advises. She has the head. But I never own to it before her. Discipline must be maintained.
Charles Dickens

To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

A great social success is a pretty girl who plays her cards as carefully as if she were plain.
F. Scott Fitzgerald

A girl's legs are her best friends... but even the best of friends must part.
Redd Foxx

I think people are born bisexual and the make subconscious choices based on the pressures of society. I have no question in my mind about being bisexual. But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who is bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never sleep with a girl who had slept with a man.
Megan Fox

I could see myself in a relationship with a girl; Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes me want to strangle a mountain ox with my bare hands. She's mesmerizing.
Megan Fox

I never go outside unless I look like Joan Crawford the movie star. If you want to see the girl next door, go next door.
Joan Crawford

Not being beautiful was the true blessing. Not being beautiful forced me to develop my inner resources. The pretty girl has a handicap to overcome.
Golda Meir

The Spice Girl Victoria Beckham has just published the story of her life. I confess that it is not in my reading table.
Mick Jagger

I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes.
Emo Philips

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